Ghosts of the Past
by Hidden Treasures
Summary: The Doctor's young daughter unintentionally brings back unfortunate memories of his adventure on Midnight.


"Sophie, stop."

" _Sophie, stop_."

"I mean it, love, _stop_!"

The Doctor's breath turned ragged as his mind was taken back five and a half years, to when he'd been overcome by a foreign, malicious, and unknown echoing entity, reduced to a frozen statue, his voice stolen. He shivered and tried desperately to block the memories, telling himself firmly that he was safe and at home with his family. His daughter was just trying to play with him, he was _absolutely fine_.

" _I mean it, love, stop_!"

He winced as he felt phantom pains in the back of his mind, so reminiscent of the pain he felt as the creature he'd encountered on Midnight ravaged his mind and took over it by force. He unconsciously flexed the muscles of his hands, reminding himself he was still in control of himself and he was still absolutely, 100% okay.

"Sophie!" he warned sharply, trying to focus on his breathing. _In…out…in…out…_

" _Sophie_!"

His daughter was giggling madly. He loved hearing her giggle; to him, it was the best sound in the universe. But right now, he wanted to run as far away from it as possible, and didn't that just make him feel like shite.

"What's going on?" Rose asked, poking her head in from the kitchen.

" _What's going on_?"

The Doctor cast a panicked look at Rose, who was biting her lip worriedly, knowing exactly what had turned him so pale.

"Please, Sophie, stop," he whispered, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

His head was spinning, too consumed by fear and anger. He listened as his daughter repeat him once more, and then again when Rose told her to stop. His frazzled mind snapped.

" _Enough_!" he shouted, making Sophie jump. He stood stiffly and walked from the room, but not before he saw the quivering bottom lip of his daughter.

Rose watched helplessly as the Doctor walked away and as Sophie burst into tears.

"Daddy's angry with me," she sobbed, rubbing her little fist into her eyes.

Rose turned and scooped their daughter into her arms. She rocked Sophie soothingly from side to side, whispering reassurances into her ear that her Daddy loved her very, very much.

Rose was torn; both her husband and child were upset, each having unintentionally hurt the other, and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to go in and check on the Doctor, but she also needed to calm Sophie.

"Shh," Rose murmured, casting a worried glance down the hall, knowing his penchant for self-recrimination.

When the child quieted a bit, Rose pulled back. She brushed her thumb under Sophie's eyes to catch her tears, and she pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead.

"Sweetheart, I know you were just playing," Rose began, stroking her daughter's hair. "And you know Daddy loves playing with you. But when Daddy or I say stop, we really mean it, okay?"

Sophie sniffled and nodded.

"Remember the stories Daddy and I have told you about the adventures we used to have?" Rose asked, wondering how to explain the horrors of this particular adventure to their four year old.

Sophie nodded again.

"Well, Daddy met a not so nice person who stole his voice from him," Rose began, and Sophie's eyes widened.

"Really?" Sophie asked, awed.

"Mhm," Rose answered. "And you know how much Daddy likes to talk."

Sophie cracked a smile and nodded vigorously. She loved listening to her Daddy talk. He told the best bedtime stories and did the best voices.

"Well, this person started copying everything he said," Rose explained quietly, remembering how terrified the Doctor had been when he had finally told her of this awful adventure. "And then they took your Daddy's voice, making him copy everything they said. That adventure was really hard on Daddy, and he was a bit scared today because he remembered how scared he had been back then. But he loves you very much, and he did not mean to yell at you like that."

"I didn't mean to scare Daddy," Sophie whispered, more tears welling up.

"I know, love, and Daddy knows, too," Rose said, offering Sophie a soft smile. "You know what, I think he's okay now. Want to come with me and find him and say sorry? I know he'll want to say sorry to you."

Sophie nodded and wiped her running nose on her sleeve.

Rose took Sophie's hand and led her down the hall to the office. She peered in and saw her husband sitting at the desk with his head in his hands. His muscles were tense she saw him scrub his hands over his face before he clenched his fists into his hair. Rose's heart cracked as she watched him beat himself up, and she knew he was very likely blaming himself.

Rose turned back to Sophie who was nervously tugging at the hem of her shirt. Rose knelt and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Wait here a moment, sweetheart."

oOoOo

The Doctor retreated quickly to the home office, the image of his daughter's crumpled face burned into his memory. He'd seen Sophie cry before, of course he had. When she was frustrated about something, or sad about something, or she didn't get her way, or that time when she climbed that tree in Jackie's backyard and fell down and broke her wrist. Of course he'd seen her cry, and every time she did, he was right there to scoop her up and soothe her tears away. But this was the first time she'd cried because of something he'd done.

He sank into the chair with a groan, kneading away at the tension headache that was building behind his eyes.

 _She didn't know…she didn't know…she didn't know_ …

He could hear his daughter sobbing in the living room, and he heard Rose speaking softly to her. His heart broke, and he so very much wanted to rush back in and grab Sophie into a hug and tell her he was so sorry, and would she please forgive him. But it was very likely that neither Rose nor Sophie wanted to see him right now.

The Doctor swallowed thickly.

Rose was probably furious at him for yelling at their little girl unnecessarily. She now knew what a rubbish dad he was, and wouldn't want him anywhere near her daughter.

 _Stop it_ …

The Doctor tried desperately to quiet that taunting voice telling him he was a rubbish father and a rubbish husband, and his family could do so much better than him.

He rubbed at his eyes angrily, knowing that the voice was lying. Sophie loved him. Rose loved him. They just hit a bit of a bump in the road, that was all, but they would still love him.

Right?

Just before he fell into a full-blown panic attack, he felt the soft, warm weight of Rose's arms around his neck. The knot in his chest loosened and he felt like he could finally breathe again as he leaned back into her touch.

"I talked to Sophie," she murmured. More of the tension melted away as she pressed her lips to his neck. "I explained to her why you were so upset. She wants to apologize."

 _She_ wanted to apologize? After he'd yelled at her and made her cry, _Sophie_ wanted to apologize to _him_? His eyes stung; he didn't deserve his daughter.

He heard a slight shuffling and a sniffle before Sophie asked tentatively, "Daddy?"

The Doctor turned instantly towards her voice, never able to resist her call for him. She was standing in the doorway with her hands wrung out in front of her, and he'd never seen her look so small and so scared, and his heart shattered with the knowledge that he had done that.

"Sophie," he breathed, striding over to her and picking her up.

She wrapped her little arms around his neck and her little legs around his hips, clinging to him for dear life. Her little body trembled against his and he wrapped his arms more tightly around her, so very angry with himself that he was the cause of such distress.

"I'm so sorry, Sophie," he whispered, burying his nose in her soft brown curls. He breathed her in as he rubbed at her back, feeling her body heave as she was overcome with sobs.

"I-I'm sorry, Daddy!" Sophie wailed, hiccupping as she tried to breathe.

He squeezed his eyes shut against his own tears and he held her impossibly closer. _Stupid, stupid, stupid Doctor_ , he chastised.

"Oh, shh, shh, shh, darling. Shh. You didn't know, Soph. You didn't mean it. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I am so sorry."

"Please don't by angry with me," Sophie whimpered, clutching her little fists into his t-shirt.

He nuzzled his cheek against her ear as he looked over at Rose miserably. Her eyes were damp, too. Blimey, he'd made his whole family cry today. _Stupid, stupid, stupid Doctor_.

"No, love, no," he whispered, pressing his lips to her temple again and again. He walked over to Rose and pried one arm from his daughter to wrap it around his wife. He held the two most important people in his life close to him, hoping that they could forgive him for being such an arsehole. "I'm not angry with you. I was never angry with you. I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I'm not angry, I promise. I'm sorry, Sophie, so sorry. I love you so much, my darling, so much."

Rose rested her head against the Doctor's chest and rubbed Sophie's back as she swayed gently from side to side, content to hold her family. This was the biggest snag they'd hit, and she knew the Doctor must be hating himself right now. She squeezed his hip, hoping to offer him some measure of comfort and relief, knowing he wasn't giving any to himself.

The Doctor didn't let go of his family for several long minutes, until everyone's tears had dried. He pressed a kiss to both Sophie's and Rose's forehead, lingering longer on Rose, hoping she would recognize the silent thanks for what it was.

He grabbed a tissue from the desk and swiped at Sophie's eyes before wiping her nose. He then bounced her on his hip and whispered, "Who's my favorite girl?" before quickly dipping to blow a raspberry into her neck.

She giggled loudly, squirming away from him and tugging at his hair to get him to stop.

"C'mon, love," the Doctor said, still holding her tightly. "What do you say we watch a film? Your pick."

Sophie wriggled out of his grasp, and he reluctantly set her on the floor. She tore out of the room, tears and angst forgotten.

The Doctor turned towards Rose and wrapped her in his arms, whispering, "I'm sorry. Thank you."

Rose hummed softly and pressed her lips to his ear, hugging him tightly.

"Let's go," he whispered, pulling back and threading his fingers through hers. "Ten quid says she picks _The Lion King_."

"I'm not taking that bet," Rose snorted. "What's it…the sixth time this week?"

"Seventh," the Doctor promptly answered.

Rose rolled her eyes in mock exasperation, but the Doctor knew she would watch the film a million times over just to make Sophie happy.

"I'll make the popcorn," Rose said, giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it. "Be there in a moment. Feel free to start without me."

"Fat chance," the Doctor snorted. "If I've got to watch it for the seventh time this week, so do you, in all of its 89-minute glory."

Rose stuck her tongue out at him before turning to make the snack.

The Doctor walked into the living room where Sophie was bouncing up and down in front of the TV, a DVD box in her hand.

"And what does Miss Sophie have for us this evening?" he asked, putting on an effected accent.

" _Lion King_!" she squealed happily, thrusting the film up at her father.

"Good choice, munchkin," he said, ruffling her hair as he popped the disk into the player.

Sophie rushed to the sofa and clambered onto it, somehow managing to sprawl her tiny little body across the entire area.

The Doctor stalked towards her, crouching down with his hands extended. Sophie giggled preemptively and curled herself into a ball, knowing what was coming.

"Gotcha!"

The room was filled with her laughter as the Doctor's fingers tickled up her ribs and under her neck.

"Daddy!" she gasped, squirming on the couch. "Daddy, stop!"

He finally relented, grinning down at her as he plopped on the newly-open seat next to his daughter.

"I suppose we ought to leave Mummy room, eh?" he asked. He opened his arms and said, "Wanna sit with Daddy?"

Sophie clambered across the couch and settled herself into his awaiting arms. He cradled her tightly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I love you," he murmured, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

"Love you too, Daddy," she replied, wriggled around until she was comfortable.

When Rose finally arrived, he started the film.

They'd barely made it to Simba's transition to adulthood when Sophie fell asleep. Rose offered to put her down for the night, but the Doctor shook his head and said he wanted to. He carefully stood with her and walked to her room, changing her into her jimjams before tucking her into bed. He pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, darling."

Rose had stopped the film and had turned off the TV, but was still waiting for him on the sofa.

He flopped down onto the cushions with a heavy sigh. Rose curled up against him and let out a soft sigh of her own. What a day.

The both sat in silence for a few moments before the Doctor spoke up in soft, wistful tones.

"I made our daughter cry today," he mused quietly.

"You didn't mean to," she said.

"Doesn't change the fact that I did," he said, looking down at her with a grim expression. "It's our job as her parents to protect her from the evilness and depravity in the world, and yet we just stole a little piece of her innocence, a piece she'll never be able to get back. The world is cruel and unkind, and words can hurt, whether you mean them to or not."

"She had to learn sometime," Rose reminded him gently, even as she herself wished it hadn't happened like this. "Actions have consequences. Would I have wanted her to learn that lesson like, this? Of course not. What parent would? But it happened, and you were hurt and she was hurt, and even though neither of you meant to, you hurt each other."

The Doctor swallowed thickly, a lump forming in his throat when he remembered the look of utter terror on Sophie's face when he'd shouted at her before walking away from her.

"But you made up," Rose continued softly, stroking her hand up and down his chest. "You asked for her forgiveness just as she asked for yours. And you're both better for it. She loves you so much, Doctor, just like you love her. One little spat isn't going to change that. S'what being a family is."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around his wife and guided her into his lap. He buried his face in her neck and simply held her for a long time. The day had been an utter disaster, and he'd wanted to run so far and so fast, but he hadn't. He still had his family, and he still had their love and strength and support.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" he asked, his voice muffled. "Either of you?"

Rose stroked his hair and said, "You didn't need to do anything to deserve us, Doctor. That's what love is. We're a gift. I've given all of myself to you so completely, and we have a child together that is the physical evidence of that love. She's ours, and nothing will ever change that."

The Doctor clutched at her more tightly and Rose felt him shudder slightly beneath her.

"I love you," she whispered into his hair.

"I love you, too," he mumbled, pulling back to look up at her with red-rimmed eyes.

Rose cradled his cheeks in her hands and tilted his head up ever so slightly to brush a kiss across his lips. It was a sweet and tender press of their lips, a mutual comfort. Rose pulled back and wrapped her arms around his waist before nuzzling into his chest. He sighed and relaxed more completely as he held her gently and thanked the universe for his beautiful family.


End file.
